Obama’s State of the Union Address (Edited and Abridged)

First draft.

Not for release (but leaked through a bizarre email accident to Nick Griffin)

Mr. Speaker, Mr. Vice President, Members of Congress, Suckers:

We are 15 years into this new century. Nearly fifteen years covering up the truth about how 9/11 gave your real rulers the excuse to drag a new generation of poor young kids and middle-class taxpayers into fighting two long and costly wars; six years of a vicious recession cause by my banking friends who have made ordinary people spread across our nation and the world pay for their greed and corruption. It has been a hard time for many – and it’s going to get a lot worse yet.

For tonight, we turn the page. Tonight, after another dismal year for America, the bankers are making money again. We’re creating low-paid, insecure jobs at the fastest pace since 1999. (Applause.) So many people have totally given up on finding real work that our unemployment statistics are now lower than before the financial crisis. More of our kids are graduating with useless degrees and gigantic millstones of debt than ever before. …

Tonight, for the first time since 9/11, our combat mission in Afghanistan is over, just in time to get stuck back into Iraq. (Applause.) Six years ago, nearly 180,000 American troops served in Iraq and Afghanistan. Thousands have come back in body bags or without limbs, so we salute the courage and sacrifice of every man and woman in this 9/11 Generation who has served to make mega-profits for the military industrial complex and to further the goals of Israel’s foreign policy. (Applause.) We can’t see any other reason for your service. …

Will we accept a financialised economy where only a few of us do spectacularly well so that 95% of the gains since the recession go to the top 1%? Absolutely! Or will we commit ourselves to an economy that generates rising incomes and chances for everyone who makes the effort? Aw, come on folks, get with the program! (Applause.) …

Will we allow ourselves to be sorted into factions and turned against one another? Right again, just look at how buddy George Soros has been funding #BlackLives Matter. Hell, by the time he’s finished you’ll be so busy hating each other that we’ll be able to sell your kidneys and you won’t even notice! …

But it’s certainly important for us Democrats to make a show that we really want to help the White working class. After all they voted massively for the Republicans in the last election, so we have to make a show that we really care about them.

Seven years ago, Rebekah and Ben Erler of Minneapolis were newlyweds. (Laughter.) She waited tables. He worked construction. Their first child, Jack, was on the way. They were young and in love in America. And as naïve as most Americans about how the System screws them senseless. “If only we had known,” Rebekah wrote to me last spring, “what was about to happen to the housing and construction market.”

As the crisis worsened, Ben’s business dried up, so he took what jobs he could find, even if they kept him on the road for long stretches of time. Rebekah took out student loans and enrolled in community college, and retrained for a new career. They sacrificed for each other. And slowly, the paid for the Banksters’ crisis. And they managed to survive the terrible job market in the construction industry made much worse by the massive flood of legal and illegal immigrants that I have done all I can to encourage — even going around Congress to give amnesty to millions of illegal immigrants so they can compete with Ben and Rebekah in the job market. They bought their first home. They had a second son, Henry. Rebekah got a better job and then a raise. Ben is back in construction — and home for dinner every night.

“It is amazing,” Rebekah wrote, “what you can bounce back from when you have to…we are a strong, tight-knit family who has made it through some very, very hard times.” We are a strong, tight-knit family and our boys will soon be old enough to be drafted for the Endless War to make the Middle East safe for the big oil companies and illegal Israeli settlements from the Nile to the Euphrates. We just hope there’ll still be some space left in Arlington for little  Jack and Henry when they are old enough to serve.”

America, Rebekah and Ben’s story is your story. They represent the millions in the White working class who have worked hard and scrimped, sacrificed, paid their taxes and got tooled. You are the reason that I ran for this office. You are the people I was thinking of six years ago today, in the darkest months of the crisis, when I stood on the steps of this Capitol and wondered how the hell we were going to stop the whole thing sinking without clawing some big bucks out first. And it has been your resilience, your effort that has made it possible for us to do it.

We have done nothing to reverse the tide of outsourcing by my corporate buddies, and we have done nothing to stem the flood of millions of immigrants to our shores to keep jobs scarce and your wages stagnant. In fact, my executive edict on immigration will encourage millions more to come. And I am happy to say that although lots of Republicans are complaining about my edict on the basis of high Constitutional principle, they won’t do a thing about it because deep down they too want more immigration to please their corporate buddies. (Applause from both parties.) …

We believed we could prepare our kids for a more competitive world. And today, our younger students’ math and reading scores are way below that of most Asian countries thanks in part to our emphasis on importing as many low-IQ immigrants as possible — and I say “our emphasis” for good reason, because the policy of importing these low-IQ immigrants is nothing if not bipartisan.  But the good news is that we’ve lowered standards so much that our high school graduation rate has hit an all-time high. More Americans finish college deep in debt than ever before. (Applause.)

That’s what elite economics is — the fiction that this country does best when everyone gets their fair shot, everyone does their fair share, everyone plays by the same set of rules, while in reality it’s all organised for the oligarchs who pull my strings and the strings of the Congress you see applauding me tonight. (Applause.) We don’t want everyone to share in America’s success, we want everyone to contribute to our success. (Applause.)

So what do elite economics require in our time?

First, elite economics means taxing working families to pay for benefits for millions of uneducable, unemployable bums. It means helping those bums afford childcare, health care, a home, and retirement. All at the expense of a mainly White working and middle class tax base being shrunk by demographic change and growing job insecurity.

And my budget will speed up this process.  Obamacare. Lenin would’ve loved it. (Applause.)

At every step, we were told our goals were misguided or too ambitious; that we would crush jobs and explode deficits. Instead, by letting the Fed crank up the printing presses, we’ve created a stock market bubble and racked up government debt to highs that no-one would have dared dream of just a few years ago.  This is good news, bankers. (Laughter and applause.)

So the verdict is clear. Elite economics works for the elite. And these policies will continue to work as long as the people don’t get in the way, which is why we never miss an opportunity to propagandize for gun control. We can’t put the security of our friends at risk by leaving effective weapons in the hands of the masses, just as we can’t put their profits at risk by accepting any limits on immigration. And if a bill comes to my desk that threatens any elite interest, I will veto it. It will have earned my veto. (Applause.)

Today, thanks to the Fed’s tsunami of bogus QE dollars, some of the jerks out there think that there’s a real recovery. But here’s the thing: Those of us here tonight, we need to set our sights higher than just making sure government doesn’t screw things up; we need to take steps that puts Big Government in such a strong position that no one can do anything about it even when we screw things up. We need a place in a FEMA camp for EVERY American who can still think for themselves. (Applause.)

Because families like Rebekah’s are cattle who can still be milked and bled some more. She and Ben are working as hard as ever, but they’ve had to forego vacations and a new car so that they can pay off student loans and pay their fair share of our trillion-dollar wars for corporate profit and Israel, you know, that “War on Terror”. Friday night pizza, that’s a big splurge. Basic childcare for Jack and Henry costs more than their mortgage, and almost as much as a year at the University of Minnesota. But like millions of hardworking Americans, Rebekah still has more to give us.

And in fact, at every moment of economic change throughout our history, this country’s real rulers have taken bold action to adapt to new circumstances and to make sure that they still come out on top, gouging taxes from working families and putting billions of dollars back into their pockets each year. (Applause.) …

By the end of this decade, two in three job openings will require some higher education — two in three. And yet, we still live in a country where too many bright, striving Americans are priced out of the education they need. It’s not fair to them, and it’s sure not smart for our future. That’s why I’m sending this Congress a bold new plan to lower the cost of community college — to zero. (Applause.)

Of course, the money has to come from somewhere and I don’t need to tell you it won’t be from the banks or corporations! No way! So instead of paying towards their own kids’ college fees, Middle Class Americans are going to pay for everybody’s. What could be fairer than that? (Prolonged Applause)

Tennessee, a state with Republican leadership, and Chicago, a city with Democratic leadership, are showing that free community college is possible. I want to spread that idea all across America, so that two years of college becomes as free and universal in America as high school is today. (Applause.) Let’s keep screwing those White privilege taxpayers . (Applause.)

Tonight, I’m also asking more businesses to follow the lead of companies like CVS and UPS, and put in place even more effective Positive Discrimination measures  — opportunities that give even the most feckless and illiterate minorities the chance to earn higher-paying jobs whatever their skill level.

And as a new generation of veterans comes home, we need to keep them out of the public eye and make sure they don’t start asking “what was all that for? Who benfitted, because America and Americans sure as hell didn’t. (Applause.) …

I intend to take even more steps to get the Internet completely under control, restoring the Zionist media’s dominance over the ideas and information pumped into every child, every adult, every classroom, and every community. To Haim, Wall St., Hollywood, and all the other wealthy Democrat donors who paid to put me here today, I can promise that you’ll keep getting value for your money (Applause). …

And there’s one last pillar of our leadership, and that’s the example of our values.

As Americans, we respect human dignity, even when we’re threatened, which is why I have prohibited calling torture torture. And worked to kill more Pakistani and Iraqi wedding parties with drone attacks than ever before (Applause.) It’s why we speak out against the deplorable anti-Semitism that has resurfaced in certain parts of the world in reaction to the slaughter in Gaza and Internet revelations about just how much the Israeli lobby dominates the USA and our Western puppet allies, and how that dominance is exploited. (Applause.)

It’s why we continue to reject offensive stereotypes of Muslims, even while continuing to kill them on an industrial scale. That’s why we defend free speech, and advocate for political prisoners, except for dissident historians or nationalist parties in Europe which have the chutzpah to object to global corporations looting their countries. We condemn the persecution of women, except in Saudi Arabia and other Islamic fundamentalist oil states with enough money to buy nearly as many Congressional lawmakers as AIPAC.

We stand up for religious minorities — except for Christians of course — and for people who are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender. In fact we’re for everybody, except for straight White people, especially males, who really are the scum of the Earth; as soon as they’re bred out of existence the better. We do these things not only because they are the right thing to do, but because ultimately they will make our Masters safer. (Applause.) …

You know, just over a decade ago, I gave a speech in Boston where I said there wasn’t a liberal America or a conservative America; a Black America or a White America — but a United States of America. And if anyone believes that, I’ve got the rubble of a third tower to sell them as a real estate investment. I said this because I had seen it in my own life, in a nation that gave someone like me a chance, which I paid back by starting off as a Marxist agitator in Chicago and going on to become the worst President since the last one.

Over the past six years, the pundits have pointed out more than once that my presidency hasn’t delivered on the hopes of those who elected me. Well, fancy that!  Who’d have guessed it? (Laughter. Applause)

Over and over in my six years in office, I have helped drag America even further from its outdated founding values. Unassimilable immigrants have continued to pour in. The Muslim population is soaring. Christmas and other traditions have been further marginalised. The attack on family values has continued apace, with gay marriage now declared a civil right and legal in states that seven in ten Americans call home. (Applause.) Make no mistake, that’s not about individual freedom or intolerance, it’s part of a far bigger plan to drive wedges into Christian, European-descent America and smash it all up. Because we can!

So the question for those of us here tonight is how we, all of us, can better destroy the old America without waking up the Sheeple. …

Yes, passions still fly on immigration, but surely we can all see something of ourselves in the striving young student, and agree that no one benefits when a hardworking mom is snatched from her child, and that it’s possible to use such propaganda images to guilt-trip ever-empathic White people into accepting that they must keep paying their taxes and keep suffering the vast majority of interracial violence — and even into accepting their own eclipse as the demographic majority.

This White genocide project is going along quite nicely.  And it has bipartisan support. I’ve talked to Republicans and Democrats about that. That’s something that we can share.

We may go at it in campaign season, but surely we can agree that the right to vote is sacred; that it’s being denied to too many — (applause) — and that on this 50th anniversary of the great march from Selma to Montgomery and the passage of the Voting Rights Act, we can come together, Democrats and Republicans, to make voting easier for every single American, particularly those minorities who will vote Democrat, and whether or not they are competent enough to have any means of identification. (Applause.)

We may have different takes on the events of Ferguson and New York. But surely we can understand that discussing the role of folks like George Soros in winding up Black Americans to hate White Americans isn’t a good idea. Any more than anyone should mention the fact that Black-on-Black, Black-on-White, Black-on-police and police-on-everyone violence are the real issues in America today.

In fact, I am not even going to mention the disastrous state of Black America — the fact that the great majority of Black births are out of wedlock and the great majority of Black children grow up without a father. I am not going to mention the criminality, the low participation in the work force, the dismal academic performance, and the high dependency on welfare, much less the research on the genetics of IQ. I mean, we’re talking about a community whose highest profile issue right now is to make being a criminal a less risky profession. The whole topic is a bummer — especially for the first post-racial president. And proposing yet more programs to uplift Blacks is a big turn off to people like Ben and Rebekah who must not only help pay for these programs, they must also deal with affirmative action for Blacks along with all their other problems.

So tonight’s the night we pretend to care about White folks like Rebekah. After all, White folks still vote, and we have to try to get them to vote Democrat at least for a few more years until the non-White coalition of the ascendant is completely in charge.

That’s a better politics. That’s how we start rebuilding trust. That’s how we move this country forward. That’s what the American people want. And that’s what they deserve.

I have no more campaigns to run. (Applause.) My only agenda — (laughter) – is to keep on wrecking the old America, while using the wealth and energy and blood of her people to advance the cause of global tyranny around the planet (Applause.) My only agenda for the next two years is the same as it was on the day I swore an oath on the steps of this Capitol — to do what I believe is best for the people who run America and who believe that it is their G-d-given right to rule the world (Applause.)

I want our actions to tell every child in every neighborhood, your life matters (terms and conditions apply; doesn’t apply to White kids), and we are as committed to improving your life chances as we are to working on behalf of our own kids. (Applause.)

I want future generations to know that we are a people who pretend to see our differences as a great gift, but in fact are following a policy designed over decades to turn the whole of humanity into a rootless, nationless, coffee-coloured, global antheap ruled over by a self-Chosen elite who alone are permitted to celebrate and preserve their identity. …

Thank you. God bless you (by which I mean whichever Being you want to call god and most definitely do not mean any disrespect to Allah, Peace Be Upon Him; it’s just those pesky old Christians still have a lot of votes). Thank you for putting up with a moron who can only make a speech like this thanks to those invisible teleprompter machines and a whole roomful of highly paid speechwriters. Thank you.

(Applause. Stormy Applause. Standing Ovation.  Cut to tears trickling down cheek of kindly old war criminal. More Applause…fade)

Nick Griffin blogs at British Unity.