My Journey to Racial Consciousness

I grew up In a middle class household where we were told that all humans were equal and that skin color was the only thing made us different. I firmly believed this until I reached my teens and started my path to becoming a race realist. When I was a child, I was the only  White child on a school bus full of Asians. Asians for the most part were very friendly and they had the same drive to succeed as  Whites. I had many Asians friends as a child but learned in my late 20s that they will sacrifice a  White friend to grovel to the negro in order to win his favor. Even a  White friend that you knew since you were a child. I rode this bus full of Asians to a public school full of negros in a Black part of town. That part of town was famous for race riots committed by Blacks in 1960s, and it never recovered . I quickly learned from attending this school that Black children have very filthy mouths and most are illiterate. In elementary school they are already running around calling each other “nigga,” a trait most likely learned by the positive Black role models in their lives. They were also very race conscious for their age, something that I had been taught by my parents that was bad. They never failed to know how to blame the  White children if things did not go their way.

When I reached middle school I started noticing my fellow  White class mates obsession with negro culture. Talking “hood” and listening to rap were never things that appealed to me. From a very young age I saw that hood culture was a culture of ignorance and was not fooled by the idolization that my  White peers held for negro culture. When I transitioned to high-school I ended up going to a school that was 80 percent  White and 20 percent Black. 70 percent of my fellow  White students dressed hood and talked like they were Black. They would often pick fights and terrorize normal  White students to impress their negro friends. Despite their vain attempts to impress the negros they idolized so much they would often get beat up if they dared utter the word ‘nigga’, the word they so often heard their Black idols repeat . After a couple of years of this I slowly began to wonder what had happened to  White people my age that made them hate their own culture while putting the Black culture of ignorance on a pedestal. The trend of illiteracy in Black students that I noticed in elementary school was carried into their high-school years. The Black students would often would run around and cause chaos in the classroom while getting multiple warnings before being disciplined. I noticed that my  White counter parts that did the same thing were immediately punished. I learned that most Black teenagers thought that learning was considered “acting  White”.

It was also at this time that I was the victim of my first hate crime. One night I snuck out of my parents’ house to meet up with a friend, on my way to his house I was approached by a Black man in his late 30s and a group of older Black teens. The Black man asked for a lighter so he could light his cigarette, and I gladly obliged as I was not very street smart at the time and still had the non-judgmental attitude instilled in me by my parents. The Black man proceeded to punch me in the face as he was handing the lighter back to me, his counterparts howling with laughter as I lay on the ground begging for my life. I thought I was going to be murdered, but they walked off howling with laughter as I wondered what I had done to deserve it. And then I dawned on me that this is what the typical negro will do to get even with the  White man. I decided at that moment that I would never beg a negro for my life ever again. Because of this I would learn how to box and later in my adult life get a concealed carry permit for a pistol. Now that I am older, I have become a lot more street savvy and do not trust Black men after dark. I believe it was the Al Sharpton that once said “If I am on a street at night and I encounter a group of  White people I am relieved, if I encounter a group of Black people I start to worry.”

I would go on to work as a mental health outreach clinic after High school. I would see affirmative action at work as in one instance I saw a Black co-worker punch a client in a fit of rage because the client said something that she did not agree with. Working at this clinic also taught me that negros will often try to fake a mental disorder to get a disability check. At this clinic I had many clients but one stuck out the most, an elderly Black man who was mentally retarded and collected a disability check. It so happened that this Black man’s landlord was the payee for his disability check. This typical Black landlord spent the check on herself and my client never saw a dime of it. I was charged with contacting the Social Security Administration to get his payee changed to someone more honorable. I managed to do this, but was forced to drop the case. The elderly Black man came in to my office one day in fear for his life, apparently his landlord had her sons gang up on him and threaten to beat him up if he had his payee changed. This showed me the lengths that negros would go to get government handouts.

I decided to leave this job around the time of the 2016 election. For the first time I was made aware of “The Great Replacement” and how my people were being displaced in the Great Civilization they had created. I felt compelled to become as educated on the plight of my people. This led me to sites like Amren, Vdare and YouTube channels like Red Ice and The Golden One. I am truly grateful that I was introduced to all these wonderful sources before big tech brought down the hammer of censorship. I hope by writing this article I am helping others to awaken their racial consciousness.

15 replies
  1. DanielS
    DanielS says:

    Thanks for sharing your experience, an unfortunate one that many of us share and awakens us to the need to share yet another experience, i.e., the pursuit of sovereignty for European peoples.

    A minor note, I believe that it was another black race hustler, Jesse Jackson, not Al Sharpton, who made the remark about being relieved to see Whites walking behind him instead of blacks.

  2. Angelicus
    Angelicus says:

    Hello John: Very interesting and praiseworthy article. I don’t know how old you are but I would like to share my experience which comes from a very different situation and location.

    I am 62 and I was born in Argentina, a country whose population is nearly 75% White. In 1871 a yellow fever outbreak killed nearly 10% of the population of Buenos Aires, most of the victims, nearly 75% of them, were Italian migrants who lived in awful conditions. However, there was a silver lining; most of the blacks who lived in Buenos Aires (about 10% of the population) died as a consequence of the epidemic.

    Although there were no blacks at all, it is surprising (and heartwarming) that most of us (that means Argentinians of European descent) used to call dark-skinned people, the descendants of American Indians and the mongrels who were the product of miscegenation with European settlers, “negros” (blacks) but almost always with a pejorative connotation. If a White man misbehaved in a shameful or disgusting way he was told: “No hagas cosas de negro!” = “Do not behave like a nigger!”

    Therefore there was a strong, healthy, racial awareness, although it was subconscious. Things started to change for worse when in the 1970s the Jews started their anti-White campaign projecting guilt on us for the supposed “massacres” our ancestors committed in America. Not having blacks to cry over them (((they))) focused on the “poor American Indians” who were “exterminated” by the Spaniards and then by the Argentinian government (that means White people).

    However, the thing never worked as they expected although I met several morons who fell for this crap (as your White mates at high school) and spoke of “the atrocities we (???) committed against the Indians”. We Whites are all victims of the same thing: the accursed and vile cocktail of Liberalism/Marxism created by the Jews of the Frankfurt School in the 1930s. If we add to this the poisonous influence of Christianity with its Jewish concept of “guilt/sin” and its non-Jewish concept of “we are all equal in the eyes of God” you have a recipe for disaster.

    • Billy Thistle
      Billy Thistle says:

      Is it not true that the white govt of Argentina had most of the Indians killed? I have an Argentinian friend, a leftist, and that’s what she says. I believe in the US more Indians died from our diseases than were killed by govt forces. Also that more of them were killed by each other than by white settlers. But I don’t really know about the history of racial killings in Argentina.

      • Angelicus
        Angelicus says:

        Hello Billy: I am not an expert on the subject but I can definitely tell you that what you will hear or read will be more likely lies or fairly distorted narratives, because, as you know, it is not only in the USA where history has been perverted. We Whites are now responsible for EVERYTHING bad that happened over the last 500 years. (LOL)

        A friend of mine who is very knowledgeable on this subject (the Indian wars in Argentina) once said to me: “If our ancestors really meant to exterminate the Indians, why didn’t they do it? They have all the resources: automatic rifles, Gatling guns, etc.”

        The greatest evidence that all this story of “the extermination of the Indians” is a lie is the great number of Indians and half-castes that we have here. According to the latest surveys, approximately 25% of the Argentinians are Indians (from full-blooded to mestizos)

    • Lucius Vanini
      Lucius Vanini says:

      “….there was a silver lining; most of the blacks who lived in Buenos Aires….died as a consequence of the epidemic.”

      LOL What a breath of fresh air! A White man who really has chosen a side!!!!! LOL

      All the same, fratello, parlare cosi e’ un peccato! We must learn to love our enemies! Otherwise we won’t make it to heaven but must swim eternally in that Lake of Fire. Better say your Hail Marys and Our Fathers or you’ll need that asbestos scuba suit I’m developing for unbelievers.

      Billy Thistle answers his own question in saying, “Is it not true that the white govt. of Argentina had most of the Indians killed? I have an Argentinian friend, a LEFTIST, and that’s what she says.” LOL Bit o’ comic relief in TOO today!–25-examples

  3. Junghans
    Junghans says:

    Glad you saw the light John, and that you found this excellent race realist site. I’m amazed that there are so many racially blind-sided Whites still floundering around out there in this mad hatter’s inter-racial dystopia. Most are, I suspect, intellectually poisoned, and still under the spell of the Jewish dominated media.

    • C.T.
      C.T. says:

      @ Junghans,

      I am sorry but that statement is somewhat short-sighted. Not because the JQ doesn’t exist. Of course it does, but because even without Jews Iberian Europeans committed ethnosuicide on the American continent because of Christianity, as I have said many times (e.g. here).

      And by the way, the Argentinian who wrote the above is hallucinating: if most Mexicans are mestizos, Argentinians and Uruguayans are what in Latin America we call castizos or harnizos. I.e., they have less Indian blood than the Mex, but they still have it (see the new racial classification, pages 561-620 of The Fair Race’s Darkest Hour).

      • Angelicus
        Angelicus says:

        In Argentina we have a saying that can be translated into English thus: “There are no worse blind men than those who refuse to see”. This applies to you perfectly. Your totally inaccurate (and ridiculous) comment about the ethnic origin of the majority of Argentinians and Uruguayos shows an inexcusable and unforgivable ignorance because, thanks to the Internet, there is plenty of evidence that proves you WRONG.

        To begin with Argentina, even the pro-Marxist/Globalist Wikipedia, which (like all Argentinian government’s departments and the media) tries to minimize the percentage of Argentinians of European descent cannot deny that the majority of the Argentinians are White. Wikipedia says is “only” 65% but in reality, is much closer to 70%. According to Wikipedia: “Over 80% of the Argentine population, per the 1914 Census, were immigrants, their children or grandchildren”. Those immigrants were ALL Europeans, overwhelmingly Italians and Spaniards.

        Regarding Uruguay the situation is even better: Again, data from the anti-White Wikipedia: “Uruguayans share a Spanish linguistic and cultural background with Argentines. Also, like Argentines, most Uruguayans descend from colonial-era settlers and immigrants from Europe with almost 88% of the population being of European descent”

        Now, Mexico: “The largest ethnic group in Mexico are the mestizos, who, according to the CIA, make up about 62% of the total population. Mestizo identity is mixed identity, implying European, Amerindian, and possibly African heritage.” (Mexican Ethnic Groups:

        “While the Mexican government does conduct ethnic censuses in which a Mexican has the option of identifying as “White” the results obtained from these censuses are not published. What Mexico’s government publishes instead is the percentage of “light-skinned Mexicans” there are in the country, with it being 47% in 2010 and 49% in 2017″

        “Another study made by the University College London in collaboration with Mexico’s National Institute of Anthropology and History found that the frequencies of blond hair and light eyes in Mexicans are of 18% and 28% respectively”

        There you have it! Who is hallucinating? Not me. This means that, AT BEST, only 30% of the Mexicans can be considered truly White. Your pathetic idea of Mexican “Whiteness” is just wishful thinking. And you have the cheek to call us (Argentinians and Uruguayans) “mestizos”? Give me a break!

        BTW, something I noticed when I visited your blog is your incapacity to deal with the slightest criticism. That says a lot about you.

        • C.T.
          C.T. says:

          Are 30% of Mexicans white? HAHAHA! I’ve lived here for more than half a century and hardly see any white people on the streets. I don’t need academic ‘studies’ to see what I see every day when I leave the house.

          Regarding Argentinians and Uruguayans, the claim that most of them are pure whites is bunk. I invite TOO visitors to see YouTube clips of the 2014 Football Cup celebrated in Brazil. Most of the Argentina team members were mestizoids, as well as the thousands of fans at the stadiums from that country (you only see very few real whites from Argentina). Latin America is a complete goner, far more than the US and Canada. Why do some of them claim to be white, you may ask? Read the section about the ‘Ibero and the mestizo’ within this article.

          • moneytalks
            moneytalks says:

            ” Are 30% of Mexicans white? HAHAHA! I’ve lived here for more than half a century and hardly see any white people on the streets.”

            Your anecdotal observation is totally inadequate for determining the national Mexican population racial composition .

            In particular , you would have to racially identify only once at least 6,900 unique Mexicans every day for fifty years to determine the Mexican national population racial composition with reasonable precision .

            For more perspective , Mexico occupies 761,610 square miles of territory . The area of a circle equal to Mexico would have a radius of slightly more than 492 miles . Now suppose you could divide equally the slightly more than 126 million Mexicans into one mile radius circles . If it is assumed that you could ( obviously you cannot ) identify the race of all Mexicans in each different circle , without some kind of technological visual aid , each and every day , then it would take you slightly more than 664 years to see and identify all Mexicans in their territorial circles .

            Also , in the USA for example , which is about 60% White , there likely are many urban Black areas that have less than 1% Whites within a one mile radius .

            In other words , a single person cannot accurately observe the racial composition of any large population such as that of Mexico or the USA .

          • C.T.
            C.T. says:

            You are assuming that I have not travelled to the states of the Mexican Republic, but I have. There are more white people in the north of Mexico than in the south, for example.

            Regarding those who look like Iberian whites, it is deceiving. In Mexico there are hardly any racialist groups. A pure Spaniard, named Pedro by the way, from one of these groups said something that hits the nail on the head: “Fenotipos vemos, genotipos no sabemos” (We see phenotypes, we don’t know genotypes).

            Very true. There are people you can see on the Mexican streets and they look as white as an Iberian Spaniard. The problem is with their children! Since they aren’t pure Spaniards, by Mendel’s laws one of them can turn out brown (“We see phenotypes, we don’t know genotypes”). I have written on the subject in El Grail, the eleventh of my books in Spanish, but this month the Lulu printing company closed my account and it is only available, for the moment, to those who request it by email.

  4. JW
    JW says:

    Thanks for the article John. I was never really taught explicitly as a child that differences were only skin deep. My father was a preacher, we grew up in rural Appalachia where there was only one or two black families. Thus the topic never came up. However, one of the black families came to our house for supper once. The youngest boy punched a hole in the wall of the house. They also borrowed our only tent, as people over there didn’t have much money or possessions. The tent was returned, but we never used it again because it smelled like rotten eggs.

    When I was a little older I met educated black Africans who told us how they were vilified by African Americans. I always thought this was interesting. One of these is still a family friend to this day. He was from a former British Colony and enjoyed aside from medicine also studying etiquette.

    Thankfully I’ve not had any violent encounters. I can remember the race riots at my high school and how the blacks would not go to class. They would line the one hallway and taunt the other students looking for a weak one. One day they picked the wrong one. Five or six blacks jumped him and he kept walking through them. It was said he threw them off his back like chimpanzees. He became a folk hero that year.

    • Angelicus
      Angelicus says:

      Very interesting comment regarding the African and his opinion of the North American blacks. I have an anecdote that highlights the same situation. A very good friend of mine who is racially aware and politically very well educated was in Miami during the riots of the 1980s. He start chatting with the porter of the hotel where he was staying. The porter said: “The problem here is the blacks” My friend looked at him in disbelief and said, “But, you are black!” “Yes,” said the man who was Cuban, “But I meant the American blacks. They hate us and consider us, Spanish-speaking blacks, a kind of inferior race”

      Most of my friends have visited Brazil many times and they all speak highly of the Brazilians who are generally very nice and polite. Considering that practically 50% of the Brazilian population is made up of blacks (in different degrees/shades) you would expect a lot of interracial violence and crimes and it is not like that. Why? Because they have NOT been programmed to hate White people like their counterparts in the USA, SA and the UK. I am not saying that multiracial societies are good, but some are worse than others…

      Considering these stories and what I have seen and read over the last 25 years I would say that the majority of the blacks in the USA, Great Britain and South Africa are the most hateful and dangerous creatures a White man can come across, and this is the result of decades of indoctrination; an indoctrination carried out mostly by Jews and White traitors (liberals). Yes, blacks are by Nature very prone to violence and all that BUT if you keep telling them that is right for them to behave in the awful way they do and that Whitey is responsible for everything bad in this world, there you have a recipe for disaster. And let’s face it, most Whites are responsible for this because they are bloody cowards without any racial pride or consciousness. This is the consequence of the Jewish victory in 1945.

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