Come All Ye Fake Christians

In honor of Christmas, this week we’ll discuss the worst advertisement for my religion: Christians. Sometimes it seems as if there are more fake, phony, fraud Christians than real Christians, but that’s because I read The New York Times (my North Star, which I believe implicitly).

While not dispositive, it’s at least a red flag when the Times writes respectfully about a person’s Christianity.

We’ll begin with Sen. James Lankford, R-Okla.

Last year, Lankford negotiated a secret deal with the Democrats that would have formalized our country’s surrender to open borders. The so-called “bipartisan border security bill” — Lankford is not only allegedly a “Christian,” but, also allegedly, a “Republican” — codified Joe Biden’s illegal and treasonous border policies, requiring all future presidents to continue admitting millions of illegal aliens every year, just like Biden did, in violation of existing law.

(What’s the matter with you, Oklahoma? How could a state like yours end up with a senator like this?)

Naturally, the February 2024 Times article on this wonderful bipartisan border bill stressed Lankford’s Christianity, noting that he “previously ran the largest Christian youth camp in the country and has spoken often about how his faith guides his policy positions.” In this one case, the Times did not refer to Christians’ authoritarianism, homophobia, fear of “the other,” etc.

The photo that ran with the article showed Lankford piously praying with his family, eyes closed and heads bowed, in front of an audience. It’s the gayest photo I’ve ever seen. (At the Times, that’s a plus.)

In a May 2024 article about Christian parents nonplussed when their sons start wearing skirts and calling themselves “Tulip,” there could be no mistaking the good guys for the bad guys.

The appalled parents, according to the Times, are “afraid of change,” expressing “anti-trans fear and zeal,” holding “deeply ingrained notions of masculinity and femininity,” who have “mocked, kicked out and denied communion” to transgenders. (Editor’s note: The “deeply ingrained notions” are also known as “reality.”) These people leveled “vociferous opposition to everything from drag shows to hormone treatments.” (What squares.)

By contrast, the pro-trans Christian counselors are “expert voices,” trying to create “a space of curiosity as opposed to judgment,” who say things like, “we have to allow for questions” and instruct parents of trans kids to use their preferred pronouns “as a form of hospitality.”

(They’d also appreciate it you’d all stop “dead naming” Jesus’ parents. All hail the Blessed Virgin Harry and their life partner Josephine.)

Pretending a boy is a girl and a girl is a boy isn’t nuts, it’s a “celebratory embrace of new identities.” Just sign right here, and we’ll celebrate by whisking your son off for his penilectomy.

Notwithstanding the happy face the Times tried to put on teenage mental illness, the Goebbels-like fad of poisoning and mutilating kids seems to be falling out of favor. If so, one line from the article is looking pretty good: “In many ways, conservative Christians have become the face of the American anti-trans movement.”

I know about Oklahoma Gov. Kevin Stitt’s peculiar version of Christianity not from the Times’ extravagant praise, but from his burbling on about what a big Christian he is whenever he’s about to ignore the cries of crime victims.

When commuting the death sentence of Julius Jones, who committed the minor infraction of murdering businessman Paul Howell in front of his family, then stealing his car, Stitt said, “I grew up in the Christian faith since attending church in my mother’s womb. I memorized the books of the Bible when I was 8 years old. … I served as the song leader for my hometown congregation …,” and on and on.

Earlier that same year, in January 2021, Stitt had released multiple felon Lawrence Paul Anderson from prison, cutting a 20-year sentence down to three years. A month after being sprung, Anderson killed his neighbor, cut out her heart, cooked it and served it to his family with potatoes. Then he killed most of them, too. (You don’t serve potatoes with a human heart; you serve rice.)

Again: What gives, Oklahoma?

Only God knows what is in a person’s heart, blah, blah, blah, but these people are ridiculous.

No, Sen. Lankford, Christianity does not call on us to destroy the last Christian country on Earth. And no, Gov. Stitt, the loftiest Christian goal is not to release Black men from prison. (Or White men, but that’s not what gives fake Christians their self-righteous glow.)

As for those Christians who are “the face of the American anti-trans movement,” perhaps you’ve heard of the last 2,000 years of human history? Christians have always stood apart from the bien-pensant, opposing accepted practices like polygamy, gladiatorial contests, sacrificial offerings to the gods, slavery, abandonment of widows, ostentatious displays of wealth, sexual degeneracy, etc.

Understandably, this imperviousness to popular opinion is upsetting to the Times, the mouthpiece of organized liberal hectoring.

The prophet Isaiah says, “Woe to those who call evil good, and good evil.” That ought to be the Times’ motto, “Calling evil good, and good evil.” Praise from these degenerates is as good as the mark of the devil.

Merry Christmas!

COPYRIGHT 2025 ANN COULTER