More Noticing: Dave Chappelle on SNL

The ADL denied the genocide of Christian Armenians perpetrated by Turkey while demanding that everybody recognize the Holocaust.

This is the ultimate in hypocrisy.

That’s the best stand up routine I have seen in many years. Bravo Dave Chappelle.

At last you know what it is to be white in America. You have manipulated the race paradigm allowing Jewry to be counted as white or minority depending on benefits.

Believe the Jew, not your lying eyes! Jews are the most oppressed people ever because others are jealous that they are special in Yahweh’s eyes. It’s only simple justice that they are incredibly rich, powerful and influential because God rightly showers them with affection. It just seems like they are corrupt, evil and demonic but they’re really just misunderstood by us stupid goyim.

I spent the last couple of hours transcribing the monologue for you. I believe it’s that important. It’s about 97% accurate…

Dave Chappelle: “Thank you very much for being here. before I start tonight I just wanted to read a brief statement that I prepared.

‘I denounce antisemitism in all its forms and i stand with my friends in the Jewish community.’

And that, Kanye, is how you buy yourself time…

I gotta tell you guys, I’ve been doing this for probably 35 years now, and early in my career I learned that there are two words in the English language that you should never say together, in sequence, and those words are ‘the’ and ‘Jews’.

I never heard someone do good after they said that.

Kanye got into some scrapes before. Normally, when he got into trouble, I’d pull up and pull up immediately, but this time I was like, “You know what? Lemmesee what’s gonna happen first.”

Can’t even remember how it started. Vaguely, I remember it started with a tweet, a strange tweet. it was like, “I’m feeling a little sleepy. i’ma get me some rest but when I wake up I’m gonna go DEFCON three on the Jews.”, and then he just went to bed. I was up all night worried, “What is he gonna do to the Jews?”

I live around the Jewish people. I have a lot of Jewish friends, so I’m not freaked out by your culture. I know just a little bit about it just from hangin around.

“Yo, let’s go out after school tomorrow.”

“We can’t go out, it’s sha na na tomorrow.”

I be like, “What?! What is sha na na? I have so many questions, like, ‘Why does so many of your people dress like run DMC?’ ”

Kanye woke up from the nap and he went right to work. A year ago I’d seen him on a podcast called ‘Drink Champs’. Great show. It was an amazing performance; Noriega and rappers were there that I love, and they all had their gold chains and stuff on and Kanye said only millionaires wear chains and they said, ‘What?!’
He said, “I’m a billionaire. Billionaires don’t wear their money on their body.”

I took my chain and I said, “Oh snap”. (hides his chain under the neck of his shirt.)

Anyways, it was a good appearance. It was fun and funny, and when he woke up he went on ‘Drink Champs’ again, but this time he was mad about somethin. He said, “I can say antisemitic things and Adidas won’t drop me. Now what?!”

Adidas dropped that Nigga immediately.

Ironically Adidas was founded by Nazis, and THEY were offended. I guess the student surpassed the teacher.

It’s a big deal…

He had broken the show business rules. It’s just a rule of perception. If they’re black it’s a ‘gang’. If they’re Italian it’s the ‘mob’, but if they’re Jewish, it’s a ‘coincidence’ and you should never speak about it.

Kanye got in so much trouble, Kyrie got in trouble.

Kyrie Irving posted a link to a movie that he had seen on Amazon, no caption or post or anything like that, but apparently this movie had, I don’t know, some kind of antisemitic tropes or something. It was some weird title like from Hebro to Negro or something. Then the NBA told him to apologize, and he was slow to apologize, and then the list of demands to get back into their good graces got longer and longer and this, this is where i draw the line. I know the Jewish people have been through terrible things all around the world, but but but you can’t blame that on black Americans you just, you just can’t. (quiet) You know what I mean? (Dead silence, then one person in the audience yelled ‘woo’). Thanks to the one person who said ‘woo’.

A fair punishment would be just post a link to ‘Schindler’s List’ and y’all write your own captions.

Kyrie Irving’s black ass was nowhere near the holocaust. In fact, he’s not even certain it exists.

I saw one news pundit screaming about Kanye, she said, “Mental health is no excuse for that kind of language.”

Yes, it is, bitch. You can kill somebody if you’re mentally ill.

Listen, OK? I don’t think Kanye is crazy, at all. I think he’s (pause) possibly (long pause) not well.

I’ve been to Hollywood. I don’t want you to get mad at me. I’m just telling you, I’ve been to Hollywood and this is what I saw: it’s a LOT of Jews..like, a LOT, but that doesn’t mean anything you know? There was a lot of Black people in Ferguson, Missouri but that doesn’t mean they run the place. I can see if you had some kind of issue, you know, I mean, you go out to Hollywood and you might start connecting some kind of lines and you could maybe adopt the delusion that Jews run show business. That’s NOT a crazy thing to think, but it’s a crazy thing to say…out loud.

Now that the midterms are over and it’s a crazy climate, and I gotta tell you it feels like this midterm all of humanity depends on it and it’s an ominous sign. The most ominous sign of the midterms is, I believe, Herschel Walker, who I don’t wanna speak badly of him because he’s black, but I have to admit he is um,,, he’s observably stupid. Even when he’s not talking, his mouth be open a little bit. He’s the kind of guy who looks like he thinks before makin a move in tic-tac-toe.

And watching the news now they’re declaring the end of the Trump era. OK, I can see how living in New York you might think this is the end of his era. I’m just being honest with you. I live in Ohio amongst the poor whites. A lot of you don’t understand why Trump was so popular but I, I get it, cause I hear it every day. He’s very loved, and the reason he’s loved is because people in Ohio have never seen somebody like him. He’s what I call an ‘honest liar’. I’m not joking right now. He’s an honest liar.

That first debate…that first debate, I’d never seen anything like it. I’ve never seen a white, male billionaire screaming at the top of his lungs, “This whole system is rigged!” He said it, and across the stage was a white woman, Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama, and they said, “No, it’s not.” and I said, “Hang on bro, it’s what he (Trump) said.” And the moderator said, “Well Mr. Trump, if in fact the system is rigged, as you suggest, what would be your evidence?”

Remember what he said, bro? He said, “I know the system is rigged, because I use it.”

I said, “God Damn!”, and then he pulled out an Illuminati membership card, chopped up some cocaine and did it right there at the podium.

No one ever heard someone say something that true, and then Hillary Clinton tried to punch him on the taxes. She said, “This man doesn’t pay his taxes!”, and he shot back, “That makes me smart.” And then he said, “If you want me to pay my taxes then change the tax code, but I know you won’t because your friends and your donors enjoy the same tax breaks that I do.”

And with that, my friends, a star was born.

No one had ever seen something like that . No one had ever seen somebody come from inside that house, outside, and tell all the commoners, “We’re doing everything that you think we are doing inside of that house” and then he went right back inside the house and started playing the game again.

The Democrats were sore losers. I am a democrat and as soon as he won they started saying ‘…colluding he’s colluding with Russia.’ It was very embarrassing, as a Democrat, but as time went on we all came to learn he was probably colluding with Russia.

I even look at his wife different now. His wife is beautiful, no question about it, but she looks like the kind of chick James Bond would smash but not trust. Why all them documents at his house?! What’s this?! This guy that was famous for not reading his press briefings now, suddenly, he’s got 10,000 documents (unintelligible).

I’ve been fired for many jobs, many times in my life and I’m going to be very honest with you, sometimes when I was fired, I stole things from the office. Staplers, computer mouses, all kinds of stuff but, you know what I never stole from work? WORK!

The war in Ukraine brought it all into focus. Ukrainians are way better fighters than we thought they’d be. They killed 10,000 Russians the first week of war. Even the Vietnamese were like, ‘God damn, those are some good numbers!’ This was before they had weapons. Before we started sending them weapons, they was killing Russians with things you can find around the house. That whole country of Ukraine is littered with traps like in ‘Home Alone’ (unitelligible).

How was Russia losing to the Ukraine?! That would be like America losing a war to Colorado.

Now that midterms are over, and everybody’s awake, these new whites man, they’re like, like, they’re like newborn babies. Just woke up. Everything white people are mad about, we’ve been on that. “Man, I can’t feed my family!” We’ve been on that! “Man, we can’t trust the government!” We’ve been on that! “Man, we should dismantle the FBI!” Word to Martin Luther King, bro. We’ve been on that!!!

Nobody listens to me when I tell these jokes. You ignore me. My first Netflix special, what did I say? I said, “I don’t want a sneaker deal, cause the first minute I say something that makes those people mad, they’re gonna take my sneakers away”, and the whole crowd’s like “ha ha ha ha” and NOW you see Kanye walking around LA barefoot with the chains out. This guy lost a billion and a half dollars…in a day!!! Billion and a half dollars in a day! I saw that and I said, “Put your chain on Nigga. Welcome back!” (pulls out his hidden chain from under his shirt).

It shouldn’t be this scary to talk. About anything. It’s making my job incredibly difficult and to be honest with you, I’m getting sick of talking to a crowd like this. I love you to death and I thank you for your support, and I hope they don’t take anything away from me…whoever ‘they’ are.”