Happy Kwanzaa! The Holiday Brought to You by the FBI

Even white public school teachers don’t celebrate it, anymore

Now that my triumph over Kwanzaa is nearly complete, I’m continuing the tradition of writing about it this time of year, merely to dance on its grave.

According to Google N-gram, book mentions of “Kwanzaa” got off to a roaring start around 1980 — or about a dozen years after it was invented out of whole cloth — soared in usage over the next decade, but then began a precipitous decline in 2000, coincidentally, the year of my first annual Kwanzaa column.

There appears to be only person left who still pretends to celebrate Kwanzaa: Kamala Harris. Why, she loves it so much, she observed the festival before it was even invented!

The completely made-up holiday was concocted in 1966, by Ron Karenga, a/k/a Dr. Maulana Karenga, founder of “United Slaves,” the violent nationalist rival to the Black Panthers. He was also an FBI stooge.

Liberals have become so mesmerized by multicultural gibberish that they have forgotten the real history of Kwanzaa and Karenga’s United Slaves.

In what was ultimately a foolish gambit, during the madness of the ‘60s, the FBI encouraged the most extreme black nationalist organizations in order to discredit and split the left. The more preposterous the group, the better. (It’s the same function #BlackLivesMatter serves today.)

By that criterion, Karenga’s United Slaves was perfect.

Despite modern perceptions that blend all the black activists of the ‘60s, the Black Panthers did not hate whites. Although some of their most high-profile leaders were drug dealers and murderers, they did not seek armed revolution.

Those were the precepts of Karenga’s United Slaves. The United Slaves were proto-fascists, walking around in dashikis, gunning down Black Panthers and adopting invented “African” names. (I will not be shooting any Black Panthers this week because I am Kwanzaa-reform, and we are not that observant.)

It’s as if David Duke invented a holiday called “Anglika,” which he based on the philosophy of “Mein Kampf” — and clueless public schoolteachers began celebrating the made-up, racist holiday.

In the category of the-gentleman-doth-protest-too-much, back in the ‘70s, Karenga was quick to criticize Nigerian newspapers claimed that certain American black radicals were CIA operatives.

Now we know the truth: The FBI fueled the bloody rivalry between the Panthers and United Slaves. In the annals of the American ‘60s, Karenga was the Father Gapon, stooge of the czarist police. Whether Karenga was a willing FBI dupe or just a dupe remains unclear.

In one barbarous outburst, Karenga’s United Slaves shot two Black Panthers to death on the UCLA campus, Al “Bunchy” Carter and John Huggins. Karenga himself served time, a useful stepping-stone for his current position as the chair of the Africana Studies Department at California State University at Long Beach.

The esteemed Cal State professor’s invented holiday is a nutty blend of schmaltzy ‘60s rhetoric, black racism and Marxism. The seven principles of Kwanzaa are identical to those of the Symbionese Liberation Army, another invention of The Worst Generation.

In 1974, Patty Hearst, kidnap victim-cum-SLA revolutionary, famously posed next to the banner of her alleged captors, a seven-headed cobra. Each snakehead stood for one of the SLA’s revolutionary principles: Umoja, Kujichagulia, Ujima, Ujamaa, Nia, Kuumba and Imani. These are the exact same seven “principles” of Kwanzaa.

When Karenga was asked to distinguish Kawaida, the philosophy underlying Kwanzaa, from “classical Marxism,” he essentially said that, under Kawaida, we also hate whites. (And here’s something interesting: Kawaida, Kwanzaa and Kuumba are also the only three Kardashian sisters not to have their own shows on the E! network.)

While taking the “best of early Chinese and Cuban socialism” (mass murder or the seizure of private property?), Karenga said Kawaida practitioners believe one’s racial identity “determines life conditions, life chances and self-understanding.”

Or as we know it today, “Lesson plan for K-12 students.” (Except in Florida, thanks to miracle governor DeSantis.)

Kwanzaa emerged not from Africa, but from the FBI’s COINTELPRO. It is a holiday celebrated exclusively by idiot white liberals. Black Americans celebrate Christmas.

Sing to “Jingle Bells”:Sing to “Jingle Bells”:

Kwanzaa bells, dashikis sell

Whitey has to pay;

Burning, shooting, oh what fun

On this made-up holiday!