Satire

Progressives Condemn Racist and Islamophobic European Advocates For Women

German-feminist

Progressive woman promoting enlightened views on Muslim refugees. Definitely not a member of European Advocates for Women.

By Werombi Towradji

A new organization that claims to advocate on behalf of women has come under fire, with allegations that, despite appearances to the contrary, it actually seeks to stealthily spread racial hatred and Islamophobic bigotry. Despite all their rhetoric about “rape,” the so-called European Advocates For Women is a group of racist nationalists who oppose immigrants because of the color of their skin and their religious beliefs — nothing more. This terrorist group is asking women who think they are being attacked to violently repel their innocent immigrant attackers with tasers and pepper spray — all under the guise of protecting themselves from alleged “rapists!”

As many respected academics have shown, we know that rape is all about power, and since White males are the ones with power, only White males can rape. So obviously, Muslims cannot be rapists. Attacking and otherizing Muslims as rapists, is not acceptable, and progressives must speak out against it.

Let me be clear, the real rape epidemic is driven by White males. Muslims are not raping White women, period! They are, however, tragically being scapegoated by racists. This demonization has many parallels to the demonization that Jews underwent before World War II by Nazi Germany! So I thought, what better way to make these connections than to interview a well-known Jewish ethnic activist, Barbara Specter. Read more

The Hurt Feelings Scale

hurt

This is Canada and you have no right to hurt my feelings

Psychology professor Mark Leary of Duke University achieved notoriety for his construction of various “scales” for the purpose personality assessment. There is the “Interaction Anxiousness Scale”, the “Brief Fear of Negative Evaluation Scale”, the “Need to Belong Scale”, the “Blushing Propensity Scale”, the “Imposterism Scale”, the “Social Physique Anxiety Scale”, and something that appears to be custom-made for Canadian political culture. The “Hurt Feelings Scale.”

I believe that the “Hurt Feelings Scale” has the potential to become a mainstay of sound government emotional management. Think of the possibilities. A Hurt Feelings Form (HFF) could be handed out to every immigrant the moment he has been sworn in at the Citizenship ceremony. In fact, the government could send out this form to every member of a visible minority or identity group to monitor their feelings so as to determine if other Canadians are as racist, sexist, homophobic, trans-phobic, Islamophobic and micro-aggressive as they say we are.
Read more

Get Your Priorities Straight. Muslim Immigration Is a Trivial Issue.

This article also appears at the website of the Council of European Canadians.

Green oracle George Monbiot, rock star columnist for the Guardian,  wrote some months ago that Islamic terrorism was no big deal. In fact, in the UK, he wrote, it is less dangerous than wearing the wrong pair of slippers. Unlike climate change, he asserted, the growing strength of Islam is not “an existential threat.” In other words, don’t sweat the small stuff.

So if you are caught defenceless in a restaurant or classroom or movie theatre by a violent jihadist with an automatic weapon, just remember, climate change is an existential threat. I mean, for God’s sake, put things into perspective will you?

While the science on climate change is “settled,” climate models are impeccably reliable, and predictions about sea level rises and temperature increases are incontrovertible, that gunman you see before you shouting “Allah Akbar!” could simply be a figment of your imagination. An illusion. A projection of your Islamophobic fears. Best to organize your life around things that you know to be true. Read more

Satire: Israel’s Collapse Imminent Due To Lack Of Diversity According To “Jews For Social Justice”

By Marc Steinsaltz Israeli Correspondent for Diversity Chronicle.

Under Israel’s extreme right-wing government, peaceful, beautiful, creative, and vibrant undocumented African migrants have been arrested and housed in concentration camps against their will. Thousands of intelligent, hard working, and law abiding Africans who only came to the state of Israel in search of a better life, and to make Israel an even stronger nation, have somehow been labelled a “threat” to Israel’s “Jewishness.” These people came with love in their hearts for Jews. For their naivety, they were segregated, numbered, locked up behind barbed wire, and then deported!

Undocumented migrants are often denied the right to work in Israel, to marry Israeli citizens, or even to use the state’s welfare programs. This is an obscenity and a violation of their most basic human rights! According to UN conventions on the rights of migrant peoples, Israel must grant full and complete legal equality to all undocumented migrants! This includes Arab migrants, Filipino guest workers, Somali pirates, and anyone else who resides or has resided in the past in Israel. Read more

Diversity Chronicle Purges Reactionary Racists Posing as Progressives, Apologizes to Readers

The following article was originally posted by Diversity Chronicle, a satirical website. It is reposted here by  permission. 

August 10, 2014 · by 

By Ray Charlston

It is a sad fact that today, even within progressive circles, the majority of white people are racist. They were born racist and they will always be racist. Experts, including professors, sociologists, psychologists and human rights activists agree. The majority of whites are incurably evil, and only their complete extermination can save the planet and people of colour from them. It is only a matter of time before the majority of whites again inevitably revert to their natural tendency toward Fascist Hitlerism. We must destroy them before that can happen.

Recent events have sadly reminded me as to the utterly depraved and incurably hateful nature of white people. Unfortunately, racist whites are so pervasive that they have infiltrated everything, including even the most progressive circles. Fortunately for us however, racist white reactionary employees of Diversity Chronicle have recently been exposed and purged from our operations! We denounce these former employees and their racist reactionary views! If it were within our power, we would send them to forced labour camps or publicly execute them! We eagerly look forward to a world in which such appropriate remedies and just punishments will be dealt out by the state to these most despicable and evil criminals.

The hate criminal John Tenison, formerly our UK correspondent, has admitted in a signed confession to having once laughed out loud at an ugly racist joke nearly 25 years ago. He has been terminated. This individual’s counter-progressive views have long been kept hidden behind a facade of false compassion and pretended self-loathing. This individual attempted to cast himself as among the most anti-white of whites in order to avoid suspicion. He was often overheard loudly calling for the extermination of all white people. His ruse exposed, he will never deceive us again! During his interrogation, which lasted twelve hours, Tenison confessed that he was aware of two other racists within the ranks of Diversity Chronicle and he named them.

Read more